Tag: challenges

Give us Parents a Break Please!

One of my three children working hard at her new normal

Right now, our world as we knew it, has been completely turned upside down! There’s a pandemic out there that is scaring the bejesus out of us all! Our first responders (medical personnel, firefighters, police officers) are fighting with everything they’ve got whilst facing an extreme and before unheard of, lack of essential safety equipment. Times are tough. People have lost their jobs, unemployment is rising every day, social distancing is real and becoming tougher every day. We are all feeling pressures on us we never knew we would face! Parents are homeschooling and working from home, trying to balance this new normal as best they can, yet the minute they complain about it, others are very quickly putting them down and this really bothers me! I’m reading all of these Facebook stories/quotes/heartbreak moments that are trying to both scare parents with horror stories of children dying alone and to make parents feel bad for getting frustrated with their children after being stuck at home with them day in and day out!

Here’s the deal: don’t try to make me or any other parent for that matter, feel bad because I/we need to frigging vent! We know people have got it tougher than us! At no point in time have we said “woe is me!” or “I am in the worst position ever!” What we’ve said, had you been listening, is “holy shit!” – I really appreciate teachers right now! I really appreciate going to work, I really appreciate those few minutes I have to myself daily, I really love my kids but 24/7 is too much sometimes and I just need to vent without being judged and made to feel like the weight of the earth should rest on my already very weary, very overworked, overwhelmed, completely out of my comfort zone, feeling sorry for everyone in the entire earth including myself, shoulders! Stop it! Stop making us feel guilty for venting! We are doing the right thing, we are staying home, we are trying to be the best people we can be right now, but sometimes we get shitty, sometimes we want to scream out loud that we don’t want to anymore! Don’t throw shit in our faces about our babies dying! Don’t try to make us feel worse! We are in this position because we love our children so much that we are already feeling guilty we aren’t doing a good enough job at being parent, teacher, comforter, friend (because they can’t see any of their friends right now) 24hr guardian and everything else in between! Please just stop! Your tactics aren’t working to make this world a better place, they are simply making the good people out there; the people who are literally trying to be all things to the little people, feel even more like shit!

Let’s lift each other up, not put each other down! Let’s realize everyone needs to vent and for the most part, we are all trying to do the right thing and support our doctors and nurses, our medical technicians, our paramedics, our firefighters, our police, our military, our shop assistants, our shelf packers, our truck drivers, our construction workers, our funeral home workers, our delivery drivers, our scientists and researchers and laboratory technicians working day in and day out to find a vaccine, even a cure, our teachers who are still trying to figure out their new normal and how to best help their students, whilst juggling their own new normal, our restaurant chefs/cooks, kitchen hands and assistants, who are still making us food, but delivering it now, and all those who continue to work to help us get through this very difficult, crazy time.

What the ?

Hey fellow Mum/Mom, what the …..?

So, my daughter had her 12th birthday party a few months ago, she invited 8 of her friends. She didn’t invite one girl that she’s had this on again/off again relationship with. She asked me if I thought she was doing the right thing, I asked her how she was being treated lately by said girl and what their relationship was like. She responded with: said girl had been treating her like crap (after having a play date at our house the week before) and she had an invite for her but rescinded at the last minute because said girl was being a little hellion (according to my daughter).
Here’s my thing; my kid and your kid are both not going to paint themselves in the ‘worst’ picture when it comes to situations involving their friends. I’m going to believe my kid, you’re going to believe your kid.
Sometimes our kids aren’t telling the entire truth; sometimes they blatantly lie.
I can’t tell you who is being more honest, what I can tell you is there are always two sides to a story and why the hell are you unfriending me as your Facebook friend because our kids no longer talk?
Seriously, this happened! I have been a parent for over 12 years now and I’ve only just realised that it is a big mistake to get involved with any of your kid’s friend’s Mums! Well okay, maybe not. Maybe you’ll walk away with a friend for life, but maybe you’ll also both get drawn into the shit that happens when your kids have falling outs! Do not get involved!
Well, hang on, if it’s serious, get involved, but most of the time it’s just the frigging drama that goes along with a bean/tween/teen! It’s seriously not something you need to take a stand on and that’s where the grey comes into it: New Mum/mom, only child Mum/Mom, old hat Mum/Mom, your kid is going to go through drama, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re being bullied, but it’s a whole lot of drama nonetheless! (Oh and keep a very keen eye out for the bullying because that’s a whole different ball game!)
The drama is going to involve your kid’s best friend/girlfriend/boyfriend or a complete stranger. You are going to have no clue from which direction the drama will unfold. Here’s the big picture though, don’t frigging unfriend the mother you friended a few months ago when your kid’s were best friends because there’s a damn good chance they’ll be best friends again before you know it! Don’t bring the other parent into the drama! I’ve learnt this the hard way, and I say this in all seriousness, don’t frigging friend someone either just because they are the parent of your kid’s friend! Just because your kid’s are friends doesn’t mean you need to be, and you know what? On a grown up level, just because you’re friends, doesn’t mean your kids need to be!
We seem to go through this notion where we think we have to Facebook befriend the parent of every kid our kids love and sometimes they’re not necessarily people we want to know and other times they’re the best friends we never knew we had. It’s a tough game that whole friendship as an adult thing but when our kids come into play, from now on my new motto is, hey, I really like you but you need to understand our kids may have differences and I don’t particularly give a crap because I really like you and the kids can work their own shit out or move on! Do not get overly involved! Advise your kid. Do the parental thing. Call the other kid out. But has the parent done anything to you? Is the kid old enough to have started developing their independence? Then shit, stop holding grudges against the parents; sometimes great parents have shitty kids and sometimes shitty parents have great kids! That’s just the way it rolls.
This woman’s juvenile behaviour has now made me think everything my daughter has told me about her daughter is true, whereas before, I wasn’t so sure. How can we set the example for our children, particularly our daughters (I’m a firm believer in women believing in other women rather than putting them down) when we start judging other women by the actions our juvenile children narrate to us when they are still learning what is right and wrong in the world? Disappointed doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings about this seemingly smart, well educated woman! And no, there were no other posts made by myself between Saturday night (the night of the party) and Monday afternoon (when she came up on my Facebook feed as someone I might know).
What the ?
Lady, you are doing nothing for your child by being like this. You are not setting a great example to resolve conflict and nor are you ensuring your child has the confidence to make the right decisions- be they right or wrong. I am glad in a way that we are no longer friends because you’ve helped me explain to my daughter the kind of woman ‘not to be’ (but I actually liked a couple of parts of your personality, so in another sense it saddens me that this is where we’ve come).
I wish you and yours all the best and hope your kid can walk away from this a strong woman who knows what it’s like to both fail and succeed and to know the important role other women play in this thing we call life.

Challenge Accepted Day 35

Another interesting day in South Korea! I started out my day feeling like rubbish! Honestly, it was like my head had filled up with gunk overnight! Yuck. Not nice. We had a birthday party to get to and we didn’t get up until late, so it was a bit of a dash to ensure everyone was organized and ready to go. I forgot to buy a birthday card also, so the kiddos had to make one this morning as well. I hate buying birthday cards though. They are expensive, they get read then thrown away. I’d much prefer to just throw a small slip of paper into the bag/box/packaging and save a tree. Oh well, just personal preference. I had some cough/cold medicine that tasted awful and did nothing for me, followed with vitamin C and OJ, none of which did jack! Oh well, ‘big girl panties’ got put on and off we went. 
We headed off to the party which was to be followed by a work lunch for hubby. He had some VIPs who came in and they were trying to ensure they had a shopping and local dining experience that was relaxed and fun. The party was great. The kids had a blast and they had food, like real food. And good real food. We were full by the time we went to lunch with hubby’s VIPs. I was also starting to feel like rubbish again. We get to this all you can eat meat place where everything is so low key, they are not hounding us about the amount of food we are going to eat or anything! In fact, neither hubby nor I ate but I cooked Korean bbq style at the table for the kiddos and decided this was actually a good opportunity to try Soju! Actually, I thought it was more wine, but it wasn’t. It was straight Soju that I picked out. And no, not a midday drink. I tried to share it around but only two others would partake, so I packed the remainder of the bottle up in my bag and left it at that. It’s about the size of a mini wine bottle and it was just sitting there in the fridge; what’s one to expect? Not some sort of Korean vodka/whisky type thing anyway! 

  
I felt immediately better and told my hubby Soju worked much better than cough medicine any day! As I am writing, I am sneezing like a crazy woman! Not sure if tomorrow (our day at the beach) is going to pan out! We have a good time though wondering through the streets of the Osan ‘Ville’ – what makes it super interesting is I see this spa type store that has fish in it eating this girl’s dead skin! I’ve read about them but never actually seen one. How cool! Before I know it, I am saying, “Yea, I’m in!”

  
  
Very interesting! I’ve never felt anything quite like it. The fish tickled, felt revolting and amazing all at the same time! It was weird. They nibble away, they tickle, they feel refreshing, they tickle, they feel weird and revolting. That’s the best way I can explain it. When you get out (it’s a 10 minute thing) your feet and legs feel great! I would have liked something deeper that went about mid thigh. They really went crazy on my legs, perhaps because I had just shaved this morning? I don’t know. But my ankles/lower calves came out feeling amazing! And still look amazing 4 hours later. I may be on to something here. The legs rather than the feet needing the nurture? 😉
  

We came home and visited our temporary custodian cats; Luna still doesn’t like us but greeted us with joy nonetheless. Itty Bit (our 20 year old feline friend) was more enthusiastic and purred her love for us all. We spent a long time hanging out with them and showing them a bit of love, before heading back to the abode.

  
Tomorrow is still up in the air; With me feeling like rubbish, the lady who organized it concerned about air quality and various other ‘Korean’ factors coming in to play, I am still all a go right now but must hit the sack and attempt to get rid of this congestion! I shall keep you in the loop as far as everything unfolds!
Unfortunately there has been no T25 stretching today 😕 it just hasn’t happened and I haven’t pushed it given the crappiness that is filling my head right now. I hope you however, are feeling amazing and continue to do so! 

Have a wonderful day and or night no matter where in the worl you are!

Challenge Accepted Day 31

Well what a lushful day! I have been nothing but a big lush all afternoon! I started off my morning in the right frame of mind; making my bed, cleaning, unpacking/packing the dishwasher etc, etc. I even did Total Body Circuit on T25, ok almost did it, the DVD cut out with 7 minutes to go and I’m not going to lie, this body was lying on the ground like a beached whale with Shawn T asking me to give a little more and do wide in/out abs with a squat and I pretty much wanted to tell him where he could shove those when the DVD cut out! What a shame! Oh well, sometimes one just has to go with it and listen to the body (& mind) & tell everything else where to go. Today was that day. I cleaned ferociously afterwards, so it’s not like I just sat around like a beached whale all day, it was only the one time with Shawn T watching…..
My friend Tawni came for lunch and lunch was wonderful, if I do say so myself. She too loves haloumi, so my balsamic vinegar chicken, avocado & haloumi salad went down really well. If I hadn’t been so hungry I would have taken a photo of just how awesome lunch looked, and tasted! I also introduced Tawni to ‘Le Card Bordeaux de Franzia rouge chillable’ or Franzia box wine Chillable Red’ it sounds so much nicer in French. I love red wine and white wine, in bottle form, in expensive bottle form, but this US box wine is scarily drinkable. They need to start paying me commission for the people I introduce to this very drinkable, very mild, very light, very refreshing, very summer, box wine. Seriously. Add new person today! And if any of you taste it just because of this blog then we need to start a new hashtag, possibly #Sheryn’sFranziaDrinkableRed ? Let me know what you think! 
So lunch was amazing. Don’t you just love it when you connect with someone immediately and it turns out all instincts are correct and you can connect with them immediately again and again? In military life, we need to speed up relationships because we’re always coming and going and so are other people, so we need to get right in there with people we connect with and enjoy their company whilst we can. That’s just how it is and any Mil Spouse who’s been doing this for long enough, understands those credentials. If they don’t, then they’re either new or have been lucky enough to be stationed in one place for so long they forgot what it’s like to move every two to three years or they’re just not worth being friends with. I sound harsh, but I’m telling the truth. This life is very unpredictable. We need to know what we want, know what we need, have our priorities in place (family first always) and get on with doing what we do and being completely and honestly ‘real’. It’s all about being real. No one wants to bullshit and most of us don’t have time for it. We like good old fashioned real people. Most of us don’t care about where you fit in to the military rank ‘spectrum’. We like you because we like you and nothing else matters. It’s our soldier spouses who have to worry about rank, not us. So today was once again refreshing because my gut instincts were correct (no that’s not why it was refreshing) and I met someone who was/is consistently real, consistently herself. 

My afternoon was almost over by the time Tawni left but what a lovely way to spend my day. I decided to go on strike as far as dinner was concerned, I guess hubby is just popping in to see us anyway before continuing his night at work, so leftover tacos will suffice for him and cheese pizza will do for the kiddos, as for me, well, perhaps, a taco also. I’ll go with the flow. 

Onto the Rodan + Fields side of things, well, my friend Sue enlightened me today by suggesting that my tenderness from using the AMP MD has stemmed from switching to the morning and following it with the ‘liquid velvet’ Night Renewing Serum. It’s called Night for a reason; You need the entire night to recover from using the AMP MD and the serum provides that overnight renewal, not necessarily your daytime benefits. She thinks my skin has become more sensitive because of this reason and that once I switch back to the night time regime, things will go back to normal. I should trust Doctors Rodan and Fields. Probably a good idea. Sometimes I try to make things fit in with me and it ‘ain’t necessarily so’. I need to be stricter with following directions and listen to the experts! 
Today’s blog is short and sweet. It was a wonderful day that ended with the not-so-great side of military life where hubby has to work into the wee hours of the morning. Kids are in bed. I am tired. Looking forward to the AMP MD tonight (with very light pressure of course) and to chilling by the tv with no interruption. I must say though, my kids all crack me up with their little stories/isms during the day and Hunter is obviously here with me the most, so I get to hear his more than anyone else’s. This morning he had his Avengers pjs on. I told him if he wanted to come to the bus stop, he would have to change, so he went upstairs and grabbed his Captain America track pants and gap sweatshirt, came down and took off his pjs and put those items on. I asked where his shirt was and he said he didn’t need one. I told him he would need a shirt as it was cold and he said and I quote, “Mummy, if I wear that pajama shirt underneath, I’m going to look like a weirdo!” Seriously! 😊
Have great day and or night! See you on the upside! Don’t forget you’ll never be as young as you are today, so make the most of it! 

Challenge Accepted Day 19

Good Friday morning to you! It has been a lovely day in our house so far today (fingers are crossed, double crossed and triple crossed as I write that). Ally’s friend came over and she is a lovely young lady. They had a lot of fun together. It was our first time meeting her so it’s always nice when you like your daughter’s friends. What is weird when you become a parent is the awkward conversations you have with strangers because your kids are friends. It’s like you’re now forced to phone this strange person and organize to have a child, that in a lot of instances, is also a stranger, come into your house and stay the night! The stilted phone conversations can become even more stilted when the parent stranger comes to your door and wants to check out your house (to make sure you’re not some crazy, hoarding, lunatic, slob and what not of course) then you stand there and make chit chat for a while until they’ve realised you’re not crazy and it’s ok to leave their child with you! It’s really quite bizarre but I’m pretty good with Mums, it’s Dads that bring a whole new dimension to the equation, which is what it was in this case. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about right? When you are happily married, you don’t really give the opposite sex much thought and in most instances your friends are female and there’s no need to think about what you say or do, you are just yourself, but when it’s a Dad, you think about everything a little more. A Mum, I would invite in for coffee, a Dad, I’m not going to, because that’s just weird. Even coming into my home, I’m like “ok, let’s not move too far from the door because that’s just what feels comfortable.” I don’t know how to explain it further, you just don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea and it’s just plain awkward. Just me? It’s different if it’s a couple and you’ve met both of them and you’re on your way to being friends, but when you don’t know either one of them, well it’s just a tad strange. And he wanted to keep chatting! Seems like a very nice guy but I was at the point where I thought, it’s time for you to go now, I wish your wife had come. 😉 oh and there was absolutely no sexual tension there either in case you’re thinking that, I think he’s just a talker and I was just wishing the wife had picked her daughter up today. 
I went for another run with Luna through the rice paddies today – bit of a disaster actually! We started running and I want to say we got about 30 seconds away from the house when my iPod died. I tried to connect to Pandora on my phone, which I happened to bring just so I could take a photo (main picture) for you and Pandora isn’t supported here. So I was holding extra stuff whilst my dog, who is the winner of the worst dog on a leash award, was yanking my arm off! On top of that, I forgot to wear gloves and it was bloody freezing! Seriously! I thought my hands were going to fall off when I got back, ok I’m exaggerating a tad, I thought my thumbs we’re going to fall off at least. It was painful. It took about 20 minutes of sitting on them for them to stop hurting. Can’t even begin to imagine the pain of frostbite. Back to the dog, she sees her friendly neighbourhood ducks who skedaddle upon her approach and yanks me so hard, I drop my phone! Luckily there wasn’t any damage to it. So, that was my run! To run is fun! Well sometimes! 😊 
Once I could use my hands again, I had a hot green tea, cleaned and pretty much found anything to do to procrastinate doing T25! Not sure why I felt so against it, but I did. Eventually though it was time and I went upstairs and did abs. Holy wow! I cannot wait until the day I don’t have to modify at all for abs. I did make it almost through the entire pyramid move at the end though when I made it to 6! You’ll have to do it to really know what I’m talking about and I can’t remember all the technical terms but basically Shaun T gets you to finish with this ab pyramid. You go down into plank then quickly bring wide legs up as close to your arms as possible then jump up, then back but do wide in and out 2 times, and so on and so forth until you get to 7 wide in and out abs! It’s a killer! I got to six and time was called and I thanked God like you wouldn’t believe! I couldn’t do a second workout though, I had run out of time and needed to shower and get Madison from the bus stop as she was only on the half day. Too bad (not sure if my sarcasm comes across when you read that, but it’s definitely there 😝)! 
As far as the Rodan + Fields Redefine regimen, I’ve taken to using my Amp MD in the morning followed by the serum, then the am cream. It just works better for me that way and I know I’ll get it done whereas I can’t guarantee it’s going to happen at night. It’s all about making things work within your routine though isn’t it. My skin feels wonderful. Everyday I say to hubby how soft it feels but he’s one of those guys who doesn’t really notice that sort of thing. He tells me I’m beautiful just as I am so anything is just going to make it better, so I guess I can’t ask for more than that can I? For me though, as I said yesterday, I am starting to see a difference. One other thing I’m doing is drinking lots of water. At least 2 litres a day. It feels good. I feel fresh. At this point in time, that’s enough for me, oh and I took another butt photo (sorry still not sharing on here) and hubby could see a real difference! Yay!
A mango smuice was the drink of juice today (another made up word, a mixture of juice and smoothie- I like it). Mango chunks, kiwi, chia seeds & cranberry juice. My darling daughter ate all the strawberries last night so I shall have to wait until we can go to the market on Monday to get some more. It was yummy. For lunch, I broke my drinking smuice promise again and had the Chinese salad. It is yummy! The recipe is on the back of these Australian noodles I stock up on every time I go home. I love it, so does hubby. Basically you get Chinese cabbage & green onions, then you get noodles and toasted almond slivers, keep them separate until you’re ready to eat. Make up the sauce with olive oil, sugar, soy sauce and vinegar, you can add sesame oil too but I never do. If you refrigerate the sauce, the oil will go hard and separate but when you’re ready to use it just get it out and leave to reach room temperature and give it a good shake and it will be good to go. I’m putting a photo of the recipe that’s on the back of the noodle packet below, but I use about half the amount of sugar they recommend. For my American friends, sorry, I’ve really not found anything that tastes as good as these do but you can experiment with different fried noodles until you find something you like. 

  
I followed my lunch with another green tea as I’m a bit chilly and trying to avoid coffee at least until tomorrow morning, nothing drastic! So I did forget that we have a do to go to tonight. In the Army, when you hit a certain length of time (aka rank) you get hailed and farewelled. Tonight is hubby’s and in turn, the rest of the families’, hail or Army speak for welcome. There are speeches, a bit of fun and basically we get introduced to everyone and we see who will be working alongside of him. Everywhere I’ve been these have been different and you really never know what to expect until you go to your first one, so that’s happening tonight. It’s all going to be different once again because it’s being held at a gym (??) so we’ll see. I may have a glass of vino before we go (it’s been a week now 😉) that way, I’m ready to take on anything my kids throw at me and any surprises in store throughout the evening. No, not really, but I may just have a glass anyway! My afternoon is going to be quiet and dull and I’ll figure out what I should wear to a ‘do’ at a gym (does anyone really know?) I may just go and hang out with the kiddos too. So I’m going to say adieu for today and talk to you all tomorrow.
By the way, I loved getting comments yesterday on both WordPress and on my Facebook page. Please share my blog if you’re enjoying reading it and like me on Facebook: aussiemumsadventures. And comment! Give me insight into you. Let me know what you think. 
Ciao!